Respect, Integrity, and The Breakdown of Civility
Since launching this campaign, I’ve been accused of more than a few untrue and disheartening things. Mostly by just a few very angry and very ill-informed people, but it’s disappointing to see such deliberate ignorance and cruelty in action. I have very thick skin and regardless of what they say, I’ve said worse into the mirror. Sometimes it’s good for a laugh, but sometimes it borders on threats or at the very least supports more negativity. “New-age minion”, “lunatic”, “deranged”, “nutcase”, and the list goes on. More recently, one of the loudest and most persistent people brought my family into it, and asked “Is he gay or trans? Weird guy”. Another outright claimed that I intimidate my employees. There have been a few folks calling for a boycott of my business and even advocating for vandalism of it (yes, I have the receipts, but most of this is still posted publicly even though the people in question have blocked my profiles). They’ve also said my campaign is funded by the NDP and/or Strong Towns and that I’m “100% in favour” of all kinds of things. If you’ve been reading anything I’ve posted, you’ll know that I’m not “100% in favour” of many things at all, and that I’m a huge fan of nuance and detail. If you’ve met me in person or watched / read my many interviews, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m a mostly reasonable person. I can hold a conversation, and I’m not an extremist of any stripe. I was at the Grain to Glory Festival along with a few other candidates in the market space, and had a chance to talk with several dozen residents about their concerns and my priorities. Lots of folks asked challenging questions, and clearly opposed my priorities or in some cases came in with a preconceived notion of what I value and support. The opportunity to explain my positions in more detail and have them ask more questions was amazing, and while I still don’t have some of their votes, I have a hard time believing anyone walked away thinking I’m a “nutcase” or “deranged”. Except for the one guy who shouted something about “15-minute cities” while taking our picture. He asked no questions and likely wouldn’t have listened to my answer.
My campaign is mostly funded by me and my mother (thanks mom!), with a couple of unsolicited but very much appreciated donations totalling (at writing) under $500. Candidates have to fill out detailed and public financial reports (2021’s can be viewed here: https://www.medicinehat.ca/en/government-and-city-hall/information-for-municipal-candidates.aspx ), so there will be little mystery as to whom I am apparently beholden to once they are published. My mom, I guess, is who I’m beholden to. No different from the rest of my life, really :)
I am in no way here to whine. I knew exactly what I was getting into by running, and this isn’t my first or second social media rodeo. But I do just want to appeal to our better angels. I am interested in making decisions using facts, data, and the best available version of any given plan. People can and will disagree, but as long as we’re all arguing in good faith, the escalator of reason continues to climb upward. Former Councillor Kris Samraj has written some spectacular blogs lately, including one on a similar subject. He’s a much better writer than I am, so I would encourage you to read it: https://samraj.ca/latest/2025/8/7/the-role-of-citizens
Anecdotally from a number of conversations I’ve had, some current and former Councillors have experienced much worse than what I outlined above. Actual threats to family members, screaming at and berating them in public, and more. Sometimes to the point where police need to be involved. In October of 2024, candidate Nathan Cullen in B.C. had one of his signs suspended by a noose with eyes cut out in a very disturbing act of vandalism. Chystia Freeland was famously accosted here in Alberta in 2022 getting on an elevator, and Jagmeet Singh was called a “disgrace” and a “corrupted bastard” in a widespread video from Parliament Hill in Sept. 2024.
There is no need for this. Basic respect and decency should be defaults, and it’s very concerning that certain people don’t recognize the futility of this kind of interaction. I tune out pretty quickly when someone resorts to a personal attack or brings my family into it. It‘s weird to see adults display such a lack of self-control and a drive toward aggression simply because of ideological differences. And I need to ensure I’m doing my part as well. Integrity and respect are qualities that need to be displayed consistently. I am the first to admit I haven’t always been great at being the bigger person. Even when my explanations or arguments don’t fully convince, I need to make sure they’re serious and well-grounded. I’ll keep trying to stay above lowest common denominator; the moralistic urge toward retribution or punishment. I’ve said things I’m not proud of, and I’m sure something long forgotten will get thrown in my face, maybe even in the comments that accompany this blog. But unlike the loudest and angriest residents, I’m committing to doing better.
I saw a meme about respect that said,
“Sometimes people use ‘respect’ to mean treating someone like a person, and sometimes they use it to mean treating someone like an authority. Sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say ‘if you won’t respect me, I won’t respect you’, but they mean ‘if you won’t treat me as an authority, I won’t treat you as a person’ and that’s not okay”
I think sometimes “respect” and “integrity” are treated as objective absolutes, but they rarely are. It’s interesting to me that often the same people calling for integrity, transparency, and respect from elected officials and administrators are often the worst offenders in comment sections and DMs. They’re also the first to block people who disagree with them and act like petulant children at the slightest resistance. What’s even more weird to me is that I’ve had exceedingly few face-to-face conversations - no matter how far apart we are politically or ideologically - where someone has used the same language they do from behind a keyboard. I can be physically intimidating, and that might be part of it. But I think the perceived safety and anonymity of the keyboard is the bigger culprit.
If I find myself around the horseshoe, I’m going to be careful to only say & write things online that I would say to someone in person, in front of their mom. At my restaurant, and for most of my professional career (current and former staff can attest to this), I often ask staff if they would “feed [a dish] to my mom” as a measure of whether or not they’re proud of it and it’s ready to serve. I think it’s a great metric, and it’s something I’ll adopt. “Would I say that to your mom?” If yes, go ahead. If not, maybe rephrase the comment.
Striving to outclass the rabble,
- Adam
